"Stop Breaking Up With Me. It's Ruining Our Relationship."

         What's the best thing a man has ever said to you?  Do you need to think it over?  Do you have a few good ones you need to sift through and rank in order of importance?  How do you do it?  Does a particular man get priority, or is it the words?

        The best thing a man ever said to me was......well, he was drunk.  So drunk in fact that he could not possibly remember saying it, but it was complex enough that he must have thought it out once or twice in a clearer frame of mind, based on how well it came out of the lubricated version.  No one else but me was there to hear it.  It was sweet and flattering and romantic.  I've been sweet-talked and flattered and romanced a little bit over the years, but this was something else.  The thing that made it the best thing, was that it couldn't have been about anybody else but me and him.

        Let me tell you what it was not.  Not "I do," which I have heard more than once but has not done much for me.  Not a simple "I love you," which can fix a lot of things, but also comes easier and can mean little.  Not even "It's benign."

        You want to know what he said?  Look, I think I have to keep this one to myself.  He probably doesn't even know what he said, he was that drunk.  I'm not going to tell it and risk having it denied or qualified or taken away.

        It was not: "Stop breaking up with me.  It's ruining our relationship," but that is the funniest thing I've heard a man say all week, bar none.  Poor thing.